Lists of All Kinds

New Definitions for Familiar Words

 Abdicate: To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

 Balderdash: A rapidly receding hairline.

 Circumvent: An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men

Coffee: The person upon whom one coughs.

 Esplanade: To attempt an explanation while drunk.

 Flabbergasted: Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.

 Flatulence: Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has  been run over by a steamroller.

 Frisbeetarianism: The belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.

 Gargoyle: Olive-flavored mouthwash.

 Lymph: To walk with a lisp.

 Negligent: Absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.

 Oyster: A person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.

 Pokemon:  A Rastafarian proctologist.

 Rectitude: The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.

 Testicle: A humorous question on an exam.

 Willy-nilly: Impotent

Source: Washington Post Mensa Invitational


December 15, 2009 - Posted by | Humour

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