Lists of All Kinds

You’re Older When . . .

1. Your houseplants are alive and you can’t smoke any of them.

2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question.

3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.

4. 6:00 AM is when you get up not when you go to bed.

5. You hear your favourite song in the elevator.

6. Your watch the Weather Channel

7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of hook up and break up.

8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14.

9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as dressed up.

10. You’re the one calling the police because those %&!@ kids next door won’t turn down the music.

11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.

12. You don’t know what time Taco Bell closes any more.

13. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.

14. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonald’s leftovers.

15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.

16. You take naps.

17. Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of one.

18. Eating a basket of wings at 3 AM would severly upset rather than settle your stomach.

19. You go to the drug store for ibuprofen and antacid not condoms and pregnancy tests.

20. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer “pretty good shit”

21. You actually eat breakfast at breakfast time.

22. “I just can’t drink the way I used to” replaces “I’m never going to drink that much again.

23. 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.

24. You drink at home to save money before going to a bar.

Advertisements

June 21, 2009 - Posted by | Humour

No comments yet.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: